Kamala Harris: The Presidential Nominee Democrats Deserve

President Joe Biden is out of the 2024 Democratic presidential nomination—whether he knows it or not—and already his lean and hungry wolf of a vice president, Kamala D. Harris, is projecting a sense of inevitability around her ascent to the top of the ticket.

Notably, former President Barack Obama, commonly viewed as the real marionettist in contemporary Democratic Party politics, hasn’t endorsed Harris; neither has former nominee and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. Also on that list of Kamala non-endorsers: Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer, House Speaker emeritus and stock trading guru Nancy Pelosi, as well as House Democratic leader Hakeem Jeffries. Although Harris apparatchiks claim to have raised more than $50 million after the doddering old fool Biden was pushed out of the race, her position as presumptive nominee is tenuous at best.

The Democratic National Convention will be, pardon the French, a shit show. Nothing in the U.S. Constitution or the Democratic Party bylaws says that a Vice President automatically becomes the Party’s nominee just because the incumbent president abandons his re-election bid amid sagging poll numbers and swollen Depends. She will still have to frenetically work the phones for the next 28 days in order to secure support from the now-unbound DNC delegates — especially the so-called superdelegates. I’ll spare you the bureaucratic details, but the short version is that Harris will have to earn the backing of Democratic elites through a combination of pledges, promises, sweet talk, and outright bribery. Democracy defenders, indeed!

Harris will most likely emerge from this thoroughly corrupt and oligarchic process as the nominee. The most powerful force in her favor is the selfish egoism of the other rising Democratic stars whose names were circulating as potential Biden replacements until quite recently. Thomas M. Crooks’ gunshots may have failed to murder former Republican President Donald Trump, but they did kill any hope Democratic Party insiders might have had at filling Biden’s slip-resistant shoes with a semi-credible candidate. Calif. Gov. Gavin Newsom, Mich. Gov. Gretchen Whitmer, Big Mike, and Penn. Gov. Josh Shapiro have all floated various trial balloons. Whether any of them were seriously considering a run at the nomination, all of them must be having serious second thoughts.

In the wake of a botched assassination attempt (which may or may not have been abetted by the Biden Administration, the FBI, and the CIA), former President Trump has emerged as the strongest version of himself. When Trump rose from that stage, bloody but undaunted, shook his fist, and commanded his legions of supporters to fight, fight, fight, the larger-than-life celebrity president somehow became something more. A real American icon and a reminder of the manly virtues this country has lost but so desperately craves. Everywhere are signs that something has changed, the winds are shifting. That quiet stigma against outward support for Trump has given way. There are even reports of MAGA hats worn openly in San Francisco. Wealthy businessmen are coming out of hiding to support Trump, including with their wallets, and independents everywhere are finally realizing that it’s time to abandon the childish fetishes of the eternally-online, optics-obsessed, substance-free DC Democrat Machine.

In such an environment, savvy Democratic politicians will be reluctant to enter the race. Losing a Democratic presidential primary is survivable, but losing a presidential race as the Democratic nominee is not. Just look at Al Gore. He might have gotten wealthy scamming gullible environmentalists after 2000, but the guy looks like he’s one french fry away from a coronary, and no one really cares what he has to say. Ditto for John Kerry, who would probably be (once again) sleeping in his car if he wasn’t enjoying the fruits of his second wife’s first husband’s trust fund. Even Hillary Clinton has faded into irrelevancy, even if she may be entertaining delusions of waddling to the rescue in August. No Democrat with high ambitions is about to jump on the hot-potato grenade flopping around the DNC this August. Which leaves Kamala.

On a positive note, this does present DNC operatives and political elites with a convenient way to dispense with their DEI problem. Having elevated Harris to the position of Vice President exclusively because she has dark skin and a vagina, Democrats have spent the last four years wondering how to push her out of the way before she got her hands on any actual power, a task that needed to be accomplished delicately so as not to anger the DEI-obsessed childless cat ladies who vote primarily based on skin color and vagina politics. What better way to solve the Kamala problem than to toss her into the MAGA maw, let Trump chew her up and spit her out, and then spend the next four years complaining about racism and sexism and whatever other -ism. That was the plan, anyway.

So Kamala Harris will almost certainly be the nominee, barring any paddleboarding excursions at the Obama estate on Martha’s Vineyard. And I, for one, couldn’t think of a better standard-bearer for what the modern Democratic Party has become. Vapid, mendacious, no understanding of policy, no actual accomplishments, self-contradictory, utterly inane, a product of both corrupt machine politics and DEI dynamics, and radically out of touch with the actual concerns of working Americans.

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Because I just can’t resist, I’ll end this with a few embedded X videos of some of Kamala Harris’ greatest hits. Let’s just say, the next four months are going to be a hilarious time to be a conservative meme maker.